The father of Yorae’s puppies was either a black dog of allegedly middling character who patrolled a local apple orchard—a dog described by people who knew him as “uncool”—or the dad was a handsome stud of an Anatolian shepherd, a recent arrival from actual Anatolia who had been spending his January evenings humping…

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Editor’s note: Today we’re featuring a freelance submission from Luis Paez-Pumar. He’s a television pervert. I don’t know how to add other authors to patrickredford.kinja.com, but this is a dictatorship, so that’s fine. The views expressed do not represent patrickredford.kinja.com or its staff.

Kelsey McKinney, a features writer at our sister site Deadspin, announced today that her debut novel, God Spare The Girls, will be published at some point in the future by The Book Group. Kelsey, a fellow medium, is a friend to patrickredford.kinja.com, and she was gracious enough to grant patrickredford.kinja.com an…

The future of media is media. The future of innovation is innovation. In the spirit of both media and innovation, it’s time to announce we at patrickredford.kinja.com have announced plans to go public.

As you know, today would have been Jerry Garcia’s 77th birthday. To commemorate the national holiday, I planned to post a Jerry-centric Grateful Dead song as tonight’s Deadspin Up All Night (DUAN) post. What follows is an account, with evidence, of how my attempt was thwarted by saboteurs within Deadspin:

The patrickredford.kinja.com San Francisco Restaurant of the year is....

Here’s the app.

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Jets fan and Splatoon 2 enthusiast Jason Schreier has a book out next week. It’s called “Blood, Sweat, And Pixels,” and it’s about video game development. He was gracious enough to provide the editors of patrickredford.kinja.com with a review copy.

I can’t remember the exact provenance of this story, but as best I can recall, this happened to a high school classmate of my college roommate. It goes like this.

Amtrak bus American Star 2955 left the bus terminal at 8:13 a.m. PST. As the bus passed through the outskirts of Goleta, CA at 8:25, I accepted the terms and conditions of Amtrak’s complimentary WiFi service. Central California is fine to look at, but it smells like broccoli farts so I wanted to visually distract…

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At approx. 2:08 p.m. Pacific Standard Time in Berkeley, CA, I saw the dog you see above you right there. Clearly, she didn’t get close enough for me to get a good or even passable picture of her. However, I caught a glimpse of her walking with her owner before I was able to access my camera. Here is a list of facts…