Drug Story

Illustration for article titled Drug Story

I can’t remember the exact provenance of this story, but as best I can recall, this happened to a high school classmate of my college roommate. It goes like this.


The main character in drug story is a high school junior whose parents have gone away for the weekend. Being a high school junior whose parents have gone away for the weekend, our hero decides to bake a bigass tray of weed brownies on Friday afternoon before hosting a party later in the evening. After the batch of (what I can imagine are extremely gross) goodies is done cooking, they put the pan out to cool before leaving the house to prepare for the forthcoming party.

Upon their return to the house, they find two things: (A) the brownies are all gone; (B) the small family dog (either a Shih Tzu or a Terrier) is passed the fuck out on its tiny dog bed. Panic sets in. Not only did this dog eat its weight in chocolate, it ingested a weekend’s worth of weed. You can’t fight the Devil’s lettuce and win.


The dog sleeps all night. The next day, attempts to roust it are unsuccessful. The weed student is now convinced that the weed dog is going to die by the time their parents return. By the end of the night, the dog is still breathing, but it hasn’t woken up or left its bed.

However, on Sunday morning the dog arises after approx. 36 hours of what must have been some insane dog dreams and totters over to his water bowl. The dazed dog, unaware that it has just completed a drug-fueled supercanine feat of endurance, laps up the entire bowl and returns to its nap. He wakes up an hour later and is soon bounding around as if nothing had happened.

Staff writer, Deadspin

Share This Story

Get our newsletter